A tale of two cities

Making Dual Career work

This weekend I spent some time updating my Indigo Blue chip balance, an activity that was strangely therapeutic. I went over each flight booking of the last 90 days and updated it one by one. A total of 26 flights.

And it’s not just the last 3 months, the weekly hustle has been part of my life for last 8 years in varying levels of intensity.

While my husband moved from Bhopal, Chandigarh, Bhopal in these 8 years, I moved from Bhopal- Bombay, Chandigarh- Bombay to Bhopal- Bombay.

It’s a way of living that has helped me and my husband manage our respective careers in two different cities while still seeing each other every weekend.

Has it been easy? May be not!

But it hasn’t been the toughest thing in my life too.

Reflecting on what has helped me

1. Knowing the why

In an ideal case, I would love some stability in my life. It would be nice to wake up from the same side of the bed every day, eat dinners together and not be at the mercy of airlines to sleep on time.

Thus, the Sunday night self talk on why must I break this stability and head to the airport plays a crucial role in how I feel about the choice.

The voice with in gets sharper with a clear why.

Is there a why that’s stronger than stability and staying together?

This is a question that always needs to be looked at in context and in the moment. (take that guilt away)

2. Prioritising what matters

My Husband and I have been clear about one thing- we will meet every weekend. This is then something we prioritise at all times.

It also means we let go of other social commitments often so that we can get more time together.

We use our daily commute time to talk at length about each others’ days - the good, bad and the ugly.

We make time for us.

3. ⁠Accepting the choice wholeheartedly

Someone told me at work on how they can’t imagine themselves doing this for 8 years.

I told them “ You don’t have to, you just have to do it for that day”

Once you have made a choice, it’s very important that you support it with all your spirit. Early on, I would feel some amount of self pity. Over time, I have trained myself to look at the positives - of meeting new people, a sense of adventure by breaking from routine, focus on growth and resilience.

I no longer feel tired by the end of every flight, it’s just a longer commute on some days.

4. ⁠Leaning on

Bhopal doesn’t have the best flight connections. The earliest flight to Bombay lands by 11 am. Early on, I would take the Sunday night flight so that I could reach office on time. This meant I reached home not before 2am and hardly got any sleep.

This also meant I missed my exercise for the day and wasn’t at my best even at work.

I decided to plan my travel such that I minimize disruption to my sleep cycle and exercise routine.

I leaned on colleagues at work to push out Monday morning meetings and work with them to plan in advance.

I lean on my Mother in law and my husband to run the Bhopal home and my parents to run the Bombay home.

I lean on my online fitness trainer for flexibility as per my work schedule.

Support from multiple people and some bit of planning has made the road less bumpy or should I say flight less turbulent.

Eight years, countless flights, and still counting.

This life may not be stable, but it’s deeply ours—and that makes all the difference